Posts By: lauragreenlmt

…and other things.

Last week I went to poetry camp. “Poetry camp?” you say. “I had no idea you wrote poetry.” Well, then I’m sorry to say you are not psychic. I have to be honest with you, I’m disappointed in your lack of clairvoyance. I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to ask about my poems. And… Read more »

Dear Soft Tissue Whisperer,

My shoulders keep climbing up my neck towards my ears. No matter how many times I put them back where they belong and firmly command them to stay,¬†as soon as I’m not watching them they sneak back. I feel sure they are doing it to spite me. I feel hurt and confused. Why are they… Read more »

Baby Got Back – An Anatomical Perspective

“Shake it! Shake it! Shake that healthy butt! -Sir Mix-A-Lot Sir Mix-A-Lot wasn’t given the honor of knighthood for nothing. A healthy posterior really is vitally important to our function as bipeds, and something to celebrate. In his classic ’80′s hip-hop composition Sir Mix-A-Lot makes clear his wish for a “…piece of that bubble.” –… Read more »

Your Perfect Body

Recently one of my clients wrote before his massage to warn me about his feet. They had done many hard things in the days preceding his visit and were battered and blackened. He quite sweetly wanted to give me a chance to bail on them – he was worried that their suffering would be too… Read more »

Dear Person With a Body,

I am writing to remind you that you are, in fact, an animal. Yes, you have a giant brain and yes, you can fly through the air in a sleek steel tube but that doesn’t change the fact that you are a beast. Your body is essentially the same as it was 200,000 years ago…. Read more »